World Breastfeeding Month

This month we celebrate World Breastfeeding Month. Normally, this isn’t a celebration that I ever would have paid any attention to. And sure, it’s not a holiday that you can actually celebrate. However, now that I’m a mother myself, it has a new significance.

A girlfriend of mine told me that breastfeeding is the most God-given but unnatural thing you’ll ever do. I had to laugh at that, but somehow it’s just so true. Have you got a minute? Let me tell you my experience…

I never gave breastfeeding much thought until I signed up for all of my “educate yourself like crazy before the baby gets here” classes. Since I wasn’t against it and it seemed a logical step, I signed up for the one-night only breastfeeding class. I didn’t know what to expect, but when my husband and I left the class, I looked at him and had to admit that although the class was educational, it had left me feeling like the act of breastfeeding was a lot harder than it looked. I had no idea…

I guess that was my first step in the right direction. Although the class didn’t leave me completely discouraged, it did prepare me for the hard truth that breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally to every mother or every baby. Go figure – I thought it was a natural, innate response. Okay, so I was prepared that it may be harder than I had originally thought. HA! Prepared – or so I thought.

Once our little boy made his way into the world, I was all set. I was going to be the breastfeeding champ – you know those women who can feed the baby while doing the dishes? Boy was I in for a rude awakening. They didn’t tell me in our class how emotional and exhausted I would be. They also didn’t tell me that my little boy would be so impatient that he wouldn’t want to “work” for it.

I had read everywhere about what a rewarding experience for both mother and baby breastfeeding was. And yet here I was, after just a few days, dreading meal time. They say that a baby can tell when you’re tense, so I guess that didn’t help my efforts. If that’s true, I’m sure my little boy got just as upset as I was before we even gave it a go. Instead of being a great time for us to bond, it was a time of great stress!

I also wanted to be super-mom. What new mother doesn’t? I was sure I could do this and make it work. My sister had made it look like a breeze. I had a few girlfriends who did it without seeming to give it a second thought. Forget the fact that they had admitted to me that it was hard for them at first. All I saw was the end result. But, in all fairness, I also had a few girlfriends who never even considered it. And, let’s not forget the one that gave it a go and told me, “I cried, the baby cried – this went on for a week until my husband said that’s it, I’m going out to get some formula and bottles.”

Yet somehow, even with all this great support, I still felt like a failure. In the long run, I ended up straddling the fence. We got a breast-pump and I still was able to give my baby the benefits of breastmilk without actually breastfeeding. Great solution, right? Well, yes and no. I was still tied to a pump and had to do so regularly. Once you get the hang of it, you can pretty much breastfeed a baby anywhere. Try pulling out the good old pump in the restaurant and giving it a go! Not exactly going to work… So okay, I was limited, but I made it work.

After a while, I came to accept that this is what worked for me. Every now and then I still have moments of guilt and frustration. I do have to admit that fortunately, all my family and friends have been great and no on has given me a moment’s grief about it. Not so for other women. Believe it or not, my sister used to get grief from family to stop breastfeeding because they were offended by it. One friend was worried about her decision to bottle feed because of what family might say. It seems that no matter what decision we make someone is going to think it’s the wrong one.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, people seem to be split down the middle. They either applaud and support breastfeeding and think that formula use is wrong, or they think breastfeeding is outdated or obscene. Fortunately, I was surrounded by people who were supportive of whatever decision I made, and fell into the more rare middle-ground. One of my close girlfriends had actually been a lactation consultant herself, and advised me to do whatever worked best for us. Generations of people had been raised on formula and they were no worse for it. However, if breastfeeding worked, it was medically proven to be better for both mother and baby.

Anyway, I realize this is extremely long, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that breastfeeding is a great thing. We should encourage it where possible, but make sure not to alienate anyone who chooses not to do so. It’s hard enough being a new mom, as I found out firsthand, without beating yourself up – or having someone else help you do it! There are so many things we do to shape our children as they grow, bottle or breast isn’t going to make it or break it. So take the time this month to encourage the new mom's in your life - whatever their decision is. We need help from our loved ones year-round, not just the first few weeks home!

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World Breastfeeding Month

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