The Holiday Blues

I think most people get a case of the holiday blues every year. The stress of shopping, strained finances, baking for the masses, entertaining family and friends including some you wish weren't in attendance, and the office parties. Oh the office parties! Having to dress up in something Christmassy but fancy to exchange light-hearted banter with your coworkers when all you really want to do is be home watching TV on the sofa with your sweetie.

This is a hard time of year for the most mentally healthy, but for some of us, the holiday season takes on enormous proportions as the daily stresses grown almost unbearable. Trying to get it all done, trying to be cheerful and pleasant, and trying to remember just what the holiday of your choice is all about is hard enough, but for those with depression and anxiety issues it can be almost an impossible situation. Couple that with having to be around family members you can't believe are related to you, eating way to much and probably drinking too much as well, and you've got a situation that can be absolutely life-threatening to some people.

So what can you do to keep the holiday stressors to a minimum?

First, plan carefully.

Do you really need to shop for every single person you've ever met? Do you really need to shop at all? Decide whether or not this is a holiday based on consumerism or on religious faith. For some people, shopping is the holiday. For other's it is incidental. Can you find a happy medium where you gift your close family members and for everyone else, a card and maybe a gift certificate is enough?

Second, prioritize.

Are you planning to bake every weekend from now till Christmas? Do you really need all that food in your home? Can you decide to do less and rely on good eating habits as an excuse for not baking so much?

What about parties? Are you overscheduled with holiday parties that you really don't want to attend? Can you choose a couple of parties you must attend, and send regrets and a bottle of wine to all the other parties?

Are you hosting family from afar? Is there the possibility of offering a hotel room instead of hosting relatives in your home? Do you have a sibling that you can offload some of the hosting duties to? Or a friend who is leaving town and would be happy to let your relatives stay in her home? Try to find alternatives to hosting the entire family in your home, especially if you have 'difficult' relatives.

Are you planning to travel the entire holiday. So many couples visit both families on Christmas, which can be really stressful. Is there any hope of doing Christmas with one family and New Years with the other? Traveling is extremely stressful and expensive. Is there any way you can change your plans to alleviate all that travel stress?

Do you have very high expectations of the perfect holiday? Are you basing those expectations on unrealistic visions of the perfect family with the perfect tree and the lovely perfect children that you see on TV? Lower your expectation. You can only do so much! Don't stress yourself out trying to be perfect. Nobody is Martha Stewart. Not even Martha. She has a cadre of helpers at her beck and call.

Lastly, try to enjoy yourself despite the stress

If you are shopping with visions of the Visa bill come January, you're not going to be able to enjoy the holiday. If you're exhausted from traveling long distances with whingy children just to witness the holiday family fight, you're going to hate the holiday. If you are stuck in the kitchen when everyone else is having a great time at your holiday fete, you're going to hate your guests and the holiday. Instead of overdoing it, relax and try hard to enjoy the holiday. Alleviate the known stressors. Some hurt feelings might occur, but most people understand that you need space and time to rediscover the 'reason for the season'. So many mom's take care of everyone but themselves during the holidays. So as Doctor Internet, I'm recommending plenty of rest and relaxation during this stressful time. Make sure you have some downtown to recharge your batteries and regenerate your good will. Everyone will be happier if Mama is happy!

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The Holiday Blues

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